Chidorilator
by HerMadnessMac
Summary: The only thing stressing Sakura more than the deep rift cutting through Team 7 would have to be the number of people dropping left and right from heart attacks. In an attempt to kill birds with one stone, Sakura's request for Sasuke to teach her the chidori ends up opening up a whole bigger bag of worms than she was expecting. SasuSaku, PostWar, Slight AU (prefer UA), Mostly Canon
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** A request from Sakura for Sasuke to teach her the chidori opens up a whole bigger bag of worms than she was expecting.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be (*more) Uchiha babies by now.

 **Prompt:** Headcanon where Sakura learns chidori from Sasuke in order to use it on the field as a defibrillator (by sakurackerman)

 **Words:** 2,060

 **Rating:** T

 **Warning(s):** Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

* * *

Crimson rivulets ran from her fingers into the clear water in which she bathed them. The once-pristine liquid turned pink and then a darker maroon as she continued to wash. Tainted. Just like everything else. While the thought crossed her mind, it didn't paralyze her like it used to, and she wondered if she should worry-if she was finally too far gone.

The loose blood removed, she scrubbed angrily at the stubborn, half-congealed chunks located beneath her nails, between her fingers, and wedged in the crease of her elbow. They clung stubbornly, and it took several passes with the rag temporarily replacing her loofa to completely remove them from her skin.

Finally freed, Sakura felt no satisfaction as she watched the remnants of her patient spiral down the shower drain. One more patient lost. One more casualty of the war.

Growling angrily, Sakura massaged her new Byakugo no In seal. This was getting ridiculous. She was losing patients to heart attacks right and left, and she had no idea what to do. With a sigh, Sakura rested her head on the cool tile of the shower while the scalding water pounded over her fatigued body. She needed to think.

It's not that she didn't know _how_ to treat heart attack patients, it was that they didn't have enough medics or chakra to keep using their current methods. Generally, medics would stimulate a patient's heart with gentle waves of chakra into a more regular rhythm. After being exposed to so many different types of chakra during the war, however, responses to foreign chakra deep within their system were violent-so violent that often the severity of the attack was increased.

Then there was the problem that the medics simply didn't have the energy or focus to keep up such labor intensive methods. It took dedication and focus to mold the waves into the right type of shape and gently work a patient down from an attack.

Most medics at this point were walking zombies; her stubbornness was the only thing keeping her from recognizing the deep purple bags under her own eyes, and the patients succumbing to heart failure was breaking records. She'd been running from building to building, performing the same demanding procedure all her medics had been too tired to achieve.

And even she only had a 75% success rate at this point.

When the water's temperature spiked a little too low for her comfort, Sakura jerked back from the wall and hurriedly ran her hands through her hair. If her half-hearted methods failed to remove all the blood, sweat, and grime, Sakura couldn't bring herself to care; it'd be the same in a matter of hours.

-x-

Sakura wasn't sure who was more surprised when she knocked on Sasuke's makeshift door as the sun rose the next morning. In all her excitement with her idea the night before, she almost charged over immediately. Remembering Sasuke's fondness for being woken up (read: not at all), however, she decided her-and her patients'-success rate would be infinitely higher if she tried in the morning.

The door swung open to reveal a shirtless Sasuke. With her mind focused on the favor she was about to ask, she was able to block out the sight of his toned abdomen. Desensitization may have and a hand in it as well, she supposed, because lord knows that last shirt he wore did nothing to cover his chest.

Deciding not to tempt fate, Sakura opted to stare beyond Sasuke instead of at him. Behind him, she could see that his bed was made, so chances were he'd been up for a while. Naruto, on the other hand, still occupied the bed next to Sasuke's, but he was beginning to move slowly. As Naruto rolled over in his bed, he blinked slowly at the light and figure now invading the dark space.

"Sakura? Whatcha do-o-o-o-ing here?" Naruto asked in between large yawns, matching the sentiment behind Sasuke's raised eyebrows with his words, "It's-s-s so ear-r-rly."

"I need your help."

Naruto paused and blinked once before grinning widely, "Sure thing, Sakura-chan, what can I-"

"No, Naruto, I need Sasuke's help," she clarified, daring to look at the man who had shattered her hopes so many times before.

Sasuke, whose gaze had been wandering until he heard his name, looked at Sakura blankly. It fell quite a bit short of encouraging, but, by Sasuke standards, it definitely wasn't a no, so Sakura decided to to forge ahead with the remnants of her courage.

"I need you to teach me the chidori," Sakura said, hands fisted tightly by her sides.

The air thickened exponentially in the silence that fell after the statement. Green eyes met obsidian as she waited for a response.

"No."

The slammed door only added emphasis to her rejection.

Shock and disappointment descended upon Sakura as she contemplated the shut door in front of her. It had been a long shot, placing her hopes in the man who had shown no hesitation in discarding her before, but she had still hoped that _maybe_ something had changed. _Maybe_ he still regarded her at least as an old teammate-acquaintance even.

Just as the hurt began to overwhelm her, a new emotion took hold, and it wasn't one she was used to feeling towards the Uchiha: anger.

Fine. He didn't care about her anymore, and that hurt; she would deal with that later. But this wasn't about her, it was about the soldiers she and her team were fighting tooth and nail to protect. How _dare_ he disregard the lives she stood for; the torn bodies that had stood between him and the lesser enemies as he took on and Madara and later Kaguya. These were people with families and lives and damn him for thinking he could just brush that all aside.

The door splintered under contact with her fist before Sakura's brain had even processed what she had done. Ignoring the blood that trickled from her knuckles because she wasn't wearing her gloves, she brushed past the shattered wood chunks and stood defiantly in the center of the room. Briefly, she registered Naruto's open mouth and realized that Naruto had probably been standing up for her-again-before she launched into a tirade.

"Fuck you for not letting me finish, Uchiha," she spat, arms crossed tightly across her chest, "I need you to teach me the chidori for _medical_ purposes. People are dying."

"I thought that's what medical jutsu was for," he turned from Naruto to face her, a sneer firmly in place, "or couldn't you master Tsunade's techniques before she went comatose?"

Sakura's fists clenched and she longed for nothing more than to pound this proud boy into the ground, "Of course I have! You aren't the only one who surpassed his mentor, Sasuke. But it isn't enough! We've never faced so many patients who were liable to have, and are having, heart attacks! The techniques are wearing all my medics ragged, and they won't last much longer. At home we would have defibrillators on hand, but most the supplies were destroyed and it'll take too long to send for them."

"So you want me to take time to teach you a Uchiha technique so you can go play doctor?" Sasuke's voice was unforgiving, mocking, without having the decency to laugh, "Who says you'll even be able to do anything?"

Sakura took a step back, feeling like she'd been slapped. There it was again, the insinuation that she was useless. Even Naruto, who was usually so quick to defend her, just looked admonishingly at Sasuke. They might never hesitate to protect her, but they had both always thought she was incompetent, hadn't they? The little girl they had to step in front of?

Fury coursed through her once again, and in three short strides she was chest to chest with Sasuke. His height advantage forced her to look up to him as she glared, but she glared for all she was worth.

"I'll be able to do something because _I'm the best fucking medic there is_ ," she snarled through clenched teeth as she stood up on her tiptoes, and jabbed an accusing finger into his chest. She took a second to enjoy the feeling of his rib fracturing under her touch before continuing on, "And don't give me this 'Uchiha technique' shit. Kakashi taught it to you."

It would be a lie if Sakura said she wasn't slightly vindicated by Sasuke's suddenly more defensive stance. He obviously had not anticipated her poking him, and was not prepared for the force she carried behind one finger. His nostrils flared, but whether it was from anger from their conversation or her attack, Sakura couldn't tell. His eyes flashed red briefly, but Sakura did not back down.

Finally Sasuke spoke. It was so low, she wasn't sure if Naruto could even hear it, but the venom behind each word was palpable, "If it's not a Uchiha technique, why are you wasting my time? Go ask Kakashi."

A frustrated growl erupted from Sakura's throat, "Because he wouldn't push me as hard as you would, Sasuke, and I don't have time to waste, unlike you! Boohoo. I have to rest up in the nicest 'tent' with Naruto, woe is me."

Sasuke's eyes flashed once more, but Sakura ignored it.

"I have had _enough_ of your self-pitying _crap_ , Sasuke. I get it, you were lied to and manipulated, and betrayed, and your whole family is dead," she said, "but you know what? You betrayed us too, and we have only tried to help you. It's not like it was easy, because you've successfully pissed just about every nation off, but this isn't about Naruto, Konoha, or even me. This is about the people who are dying from this war, and it's about time you step up and shoulder some fucking responsibility."

Sasuke all but snarled and took a menacing step forward, "I've shouldered the responsibility of my family's murd-!"

"This isn't about your little quest for revenge, Sasuke!" Sakura screamed, throwing a chakra infused punch his way. Readied for violence by her earlier attack, Sasuke easily caught her fist and threw her past him. Vaguely, Sakura was aware of Naruto chirping protests ("Woah, guys, no fighting" and "Sasuke, Sakura, what the _fuck._ "), but her mind was mostly consumed with beating her old teammate into a pile of mush. Instead of being thrown off balance, Sakura had used the momentum of his throw to spin around and channel into her next punch.

Once again, her punch was caught, but this time it was Naruto holding her back. He had stepped in between them, one hand warningly on Sasuke's chest and one hand clasped tightly about her wrist. The role reversal would have struck her as funny had Sakura not been so enraged.

"Woah! Guys! Chill!" Naruto squawked, looking between Sakura and Sasuke, alarm shining in his overly-expressive cerulean eyes.

Deadly intent spiked through both Sasuke and Sakura's chakra signatures, and ill-intent flooded the tent, making it slightly harder to , Sasuke's chakra was more impressive, but Sakura's held all the rage of a protective mother bear-she had more at stake in this battle.

" _Guys_ ," Naruto's voice had a firm edge to it, and he shook each of them respectively to shake them out of their face-off.

Shooting one last incensed stare his way, Sakura jerked her fist back from Naruto and spun away from her teammates-no, from the boy she _thought_ was her teammate. From the the boy she had counted on. From the boy she loved.

"Fine, I'll figure it out on my own. I'm used to it by now anyway," Sakura shot over her shoulder, pausing in the destroyed doorway. Her stance was tense, rigid and braced, as if expecting an attack, but her eyes swam with unshed emotion, "It's not like I was really expecting any help from my old team."

With that, she stalked out the door. Naruto sighed and shot an exasperated look at his best friend before disappearing after Sakura, calling after her in her furiously betrayed wake.

"Sakura-chan, hey Sakura-chan! Oh come on, you know Teme's a dick, he'll come around…"

Meanwhile, neither got to see the quick flicker of uncertainty that flashed upon the last Uchiha's face.

* * *

 ***dodges flying objects***

 **I know, I know I should be posting the next chapter of Poison** (edit: it's finished now, go check it out) **. Honestly, I've been kinda stuck on the latest chapter and just trying to enjoy my last summer before life starts. BUT, if you follow me on tumblr, you know that this story isn't** ** _completely_** **new. It IS, however, closer to being finished, and I have about 6 chapters of it written.** (edit: this was a total lie. I had 4 chapters, and I wanted to trick myself into writing the rest of the next two chapters before the month was up. As you all know now, 2 years later, that didn't happen. Sorry again)

 **SO! I thought I would give you all 6 weeks of** **GUARANTEED** **chapters. Every Friday by 7 MST I will post a chapter (you got it one day early this time). Hopefully this will give me enough time to kick my plot bunnies back into action, and you'll have an actually finished story from me soon!**

 **Sound good? Yes?**

 **No?**

 **Well, tell me anyway. Sorry for both this and the long author's note, but I figured you all deserved an explanation.**

 **...**

 ***edited: 2018/01/21**


	2. Chapter 2

**Words:** 3,183

 **Warning(s):** Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

* * *

The stench of burnt flesh consumed the air of the clearing. Two ninja swathed in black faced off, backed by broken and singed trees and ground-a testament to their hours of training. The petal-haired woman's locks were stained darker with sweat, and the only sound to be heard was harsh panting from the quivering young woman.

"Arrrgh!" Sakura grunted, agonized but determined. She was beginning to sway on her feet, but she hadn't made an inch of progress yet. Concerned, Kakashi stepped forward, but Sakura backed away from him, waving off his anxiety the flick of a single hand.

"I can get this, Kakashi-sensei, I can, just one more try!" her previously shaky legs widened into a larger stance, and she gripped her right wrist with her left hand.

As Kakashi had warned, it was difficult to tease the chakra out from her body. With chakra scalpels and healing it was different, sure, her chakra was formed outside her body, but it always had a shape-a definable edge. This, this was completely the opposite; to successfully complete the chidori she had to somehow select thin wires of her built up chakra and coax them into flicking around of their own accord, then allowing the transition from chakra to electricity.

"Fuck, ow!" she cursed, shaking her burning wrist. Failing was not the desired outcome, as the chakra Sakura had built up had a tendency to explode in a molten burst. The target of such an outburst was the skin the chakra had built up around. It was fair to say that Sakura's wrist was now a mess of half-healed, nearly-second-if-not-third-degree burns.

"Sakura, this was a great idea, but I don't think it's going to work out," Kakashi began, his tone extremely gentle without seeming condescending, "It's just-you're not an electric type. If I had to guess I'd say you were either earth or water, but I know it's not electricity."

"Goddammit, there has to be some way around it!" Sakura began to focus her chakra in her aching wrist once more, only for sleep deprivation and chakra exhaustion to force her to her knees.

Hands were immediately on her shoulders, helping her up, and a small, immature portion of herself wanted nothing more than to swat him away. This is why she hadn't wanted Kakashi as a teacher. Sure, he was a lot easier to convince, but she didn't need someone who balked at the sight of her in pain. Sakura needed results; she needed someone who would look at her singed wrist and shaky legs, curl his lip and say, 'You're doing it wrong. Try again.'

Of course, Kakashi was the only one helping her, and her gentle nature allowed her to thank him as she rose to her feet with his assistance-albeit stiffly. Seeing both of Kakashi's eyes at one time was odd, and it would definitely take some getting used too, although the worry the contained was all too familiar. Here it came, the 'Take care of yourself, Sakura-chan' lecture.

"Sakura," Kakashi began, his tone taking on his 'sensei' voice, "You really should get some r-"

"I don't have time for rest, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura snapped, popping a soldier pill from the container in her pouch. Her tone had Kakashi straightening in shock, and Sakura flinched internally.

Making Kakashi guilty wasn't in her plans, but she'd be lying if there wasn't a little resentment there as well. He was just as bad as Naruto and Sasuke when it came down to it, always pushing her back out of the way of harm. Really, what had Kakashi done for her as a genin besides pat her on the head, falsely console her, tell her she had great chakra control and talent for genjutsu, and then leave her? As soon as Naruto and Sasuke left, Kakashi had been gone. At least he had found a teacher for Naruto, but she…

 _Managed it on my own,_ Sakura thought firmly, ridding her head of pointless accusations. She was here now, and that was all that mattered.

Jerkily, Sakura bowed before leaving, "Thank you for your time. I'm sorry it was a wasted effort. I'll be at the hospital if anyone needs me."

No, this wasn't Kakashi's fault, but Sakura wasn't in the mood to sit and smooth things over, either. This was her only plan, and it was failing, and she had missed eight hours of hospital rotation for absolutely no progress of any kind.

Maybe the hospital would be in better condition today

-x-

"Sakura-san! Sakura-san!" a frantic voice called, and Sakura's head swirled to locate the source, "You're just it time! Cardiac arrest, tent five, patient unresponsive!"

The words hadn't completely passed the young medic's lips before Sakura's feet were in motion, Dashing through crowded tents and bounding over syringe filled tables and empty chairs, and sometimes full ones, she moved, desperate to not let another patient die on her watch.

Even if she hadn't memorized the makeshift hospital's layout on her first day, she would still know she was in tent five the moment she entered it. A swarm of nurses surrounded a bed in the corner, and a frenzied atmosphere consumed the space.

At first glance, it seemed like all the medics were supporting the one physically operating on the patient-the one calling out commands. A second look revealed that all, one-two-three-er-eight-nine, nine medics were individually working on scarily still woman. They were bombarding her with nine foreign sources of chakra? The vein that always pulsed in time with her temper spasmed on her forehead.

"Everyone step back!" she commanded, closing the space between herself and the victim with sure strides, "Secure her limbs with straps. You, move down the left side of her gown. Someone grab me hair clips."

The sea of blue scrubs scrambled before her in their haste to obey. While still furious with their conduct, Sakura pushed it all to the back of her mind as her fingertips came in contact with the chest of the dying woman. The woman's lips were tinged blue which showed she hadn't been breathing correctly for some time now, and, as a patient suffering cardiac arrest, her heart had ceased all function. She hated when they got to this point.

With precision, care, and the use of her chakra scalpels, Sakura cleanly thrust her hand through ribs four and five. She tried to avoid further traumatization the costal cartilage or lungs but she could already feel the fissures formed due to several long minutes of heavy CPR. Once the heart was securely within her grasp, Sakura took a steadying breath-vaguely, she noted her hair was being tied back by an unknown medic- and closed her eyes in concentration for a fraction of a second.

 _Now!_ her eyes flashed open, and her hand began the rhythmic motions that would hopefully save this woman's life. _Right atrium, right ventricle, left ventricle, left atrium, pause._ Now for the chakra stimulation.

Gently, ever, ever so gently, Sakura sent out her chakra in small, small bursts to each major nerve related to the heart. If she couldn't feel the heart responding after a second round of manual stimulation, she would hesitantly up the chakra used per burst. It was risky, as the more chakra used the more likely the patient was to react negatively, but, at the same time, the patient was less likely recover if the amount of chakra was too small. This delicate practice was one very few had mastered.

 _Sinoatrial node, atrioventricular node, his-purkinje network, come on!_ she chanted, switching over to manual pumping and feeling desperately for any kind of response. When there wasn't one, she hesitantly upped the chakra what she deemed as one "notch." _Atrium, ventricle, ventricle, atrium,_ pause, _SA node, AV node, his-purkinje network, atrium, ventricle, ventricle, atrium,_ pause. Nothing. Up chakra. _Atrium, ventricle, ventricle, atrium,_ pause, _SA node, AV node, his-purkinje network, atrium, ventricle, ventricle, atrium,_ pause. Still no response.

And so it went on. Sakura was nearing the fourth notch of chakra when she felt the shinobi's chakra level begin to fluctuate wildly. _Shit._

"Tighten the restraints!" she called, steadily holding her ministrations at a third notch chakra level. A string of unspoken curses flew through her mind as she felt the shinobi's chakra began to flare and recede, sparking to higher levels of panic within her core and traveling in distressed waves throughout her limbs. As soon as the restraints had been tightened, the woman was seizing against them, her back arching upwards and mouth open in a silent scream.

When the heart in her grasp began to beat erratically of its own accord, Sakura immediately released it from her grasp. Accidentally squeezing at the wrong time now could result in busted atria or ventricles. Medics clamored to hold the woman's torso steady on the table, but she thrashed powerfully against them, back remaining stubbornly bowed. Sakura screwed her eyes shut in concentration-ignoring the pandemonium around her-and kept a steady pulse of chakra flowing into the heart's electrical components from her fingertips which lay limply upon the rampant heart.

 _Come on, calm down! Come on!_ Sakura thought, knowing the woman's body couldn't take much more of this.

As if the kunoichi had heard her, Sakura felt her chakra release die down, and it didn't take much longer before her body fell back down to the table. Because it had been forced into actions of its own moments ago, the heart soon took commands from Sakura's rhythm, after after a steady heartbeat thrummed into place beneath her fingers, and she gently retracted her intruding hand from the beating organ.

As color returned to the pallid woman on the operating table, Sakura sighed in relief and motioned for a rag to remove the blood from her hand.

"You"-she pointed with her half-clean hand to one nurse who had steadily performed his duty of wiping the blood away from the incision-"Finish healing her ribs and this incision. Nice work with the clean-up"

Now that the patient was out of immediate danger, there were other matters to attend to. She leveled her serious viridian eyes on the rest of the staff present.

"I want to impress upon you all how disappointed I am with your performance just now. You blatantly disobeyed every regulation and procedure for heart attacks, and you nearly cost this shinobi her life," heads bowed under her gaze, shame etched on each of their features, "There will be a meeting about this later. Stick to procedures until then. Right now, I have to make sure that none of the other medics have suddenly become incompetent. Dismissed."

Sakura's fury was pronounced in every syllable, and the medics broke for the exit as soon as she was done. This was ridiculous. The medic force was already understaffed as it was, and now she had to deal with medics suddenly losing their damn minds? Rubbing one throbbing temple, Sakura drew a deep breath, noticing one figure leaving just in time.

 _The ring leader of this whole operation!_ "You there! I need a word with you."

Hesitantly, the man who had been organizing the disastrous event slunk forward. Once he had set foot in front of her, he raised his head and squared his shoulders.

"You, just what the _hell_ were you thinking before I arrived? Nine foreign chakras at once? _Nine?_ " she whispered aggressively, not wishing to publicly shame her victim, just make a point, "There's a reason we don't use chakra to hold down our patients anymore! What were you even thinking?"

"I was thinking we needed a change in how we deal with these types of cases," he snapped, not lowering his gaze.

Sakura raised a challenging eyebrow, "So of course, the best solution is to overstimulate the patient with foreign chakra."

"It's better than nothing!" he snapped, seemingly oblivious to Sakura's infamous temper, "And we were not 'over-stimulating' her. We were treating her to increasingly powerful doses from chakra, and every nurse only had to focus on one steady force, instead changing the degree of chakra usage in a matter of seconds."

A couple of silent seconds passed as Sakura focused on controlling her breathing. They didn't need a scene here. Chances were more than a few of the nurses were feeling overworked and overstressed as well.

"No matter how you look at it, you still put that patient's life in more danger than if one medic had focused on her needs. No, listen," Sakura put her hand up to cut-off his argument, aware of the eyes on their confrontation, "The fact of the matter is, she seized at level three stimulation. Level three. That's unheard of, and I'll bet it had something to do with the technique you were using on her beforehand."

Thankfully, the medic had no response to this, although he still wore quite the scowl.

"I understand you're tired and that everyone is stressed. I'm working on a solution, and I'm open to ideas," Sakura continued in a gentler tone before hardening it once again, "What I will not stand, however, is putting patients' lives at danger with experimental procedures. I don't want you working on these patients for the next week, I want you on the skeletal unit. Dismissed."

While still looking mulish, the medic closed his open mouth and retreated when he realized he was stepping on the edges of her patience. The skeletal group focused on mending bones that had been shattered during the war. So immense were these types of wounds, that many shinobi were just functioning with reattached bones; they could all use serious attention before traveling back home. It was mind-numbing work, and an obvious demotion from the action packed open wound and trauma cases. Yes, this work was above his skill level, but the medic needed to be punished, and Sakura didn't have the staff available to send medics home.

"Yes, Haruno-san, I understand," he bowed out of her way, and Sakura barely inclined her head in response. She had been professional, but she was still beyond pissed at her medics' performance.

 _If chidori's out of the picture, what am I going to do to end this chaos?_ She mused, duly taking in the high tension surrounding the med tents.

"Sakura-san!" Chizu, a young leaf-nin called, starting Sakura from her thoughts, "failing lungs and heart attack in tent twelve!

With a sigh, Sakura was once again running, hot on the heels of Chizu. The chidori had to work, there was no other way to put an end to this. She just needed to figure out the trick to make it work.

-x-

Hidden by the rapidly deteriorating trees of the forest, Sasuke watched as Sakura repeatedly smashed her fist into whatever was closest. After her recent failed attempt at chidori, the pink-haired medic had given into a tantrum and was now channeling her frustration into the quaking ground.

"Pretty determined, isn't she?" Kakashi asked from above him in the canopy. Although Kakashi was keeping his chakra in control, Sasuke wasn't surprised when he felt him approaching.

"She's just wasting her chakra, she should know better," he responded snidely, "It's childish."

"Hmm," Kakashi drawled noncommittally, glancing at Sasuke from over the pages of his well-worn book. Sensing his unwavering gaze, Sasuke relented and turned to face his old sensei. Kakashi sat on a study tree branch. His legs dangled in the air and the arm not holding his book rested across one knee. What really annoyed Sasuke was the knowing look in Kakashi's eyes. Despite the obvious power difference between them, Kakashi still had the nerve to act like Sasuke was some snot-nosed brat who needed his advice, and he could guess what Kakashi was trying to convey just now.

 _I can think of a time or two when you lost your temper, Sasuke._

He curled his lip and returned his gaze to Sakura, refusing to admit Kakashi was right. _Throwing a fit and giving into vengeance are completely different things,_ he thought, ignoring the twinge of shame in his chest.

"Well, Sakura has always had a temper," Kakashi continued, acting as if nothing had transpired between the two of them. Sasuke heard the rustling of paper as Kakashi turned the page.

"Hn."

Silence fell between them, and each returned to their own thoughts. The tremors shaking the earth came to a halt, but Sakura didn't emerge from the chasm she'd created in her anger. From this vantage point, all Sasuke could see was a pink tuft of hair disappearing below the surface. Perhaps she'd decided to take a break.

"Why are you here, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, breaking the quiet that had descended.

Why was he here? Twenty-four hours in a small 'tent'-even if it _was_ the only 'tent' with solid walls-had proved too large of a test for his ever-dwindling patience, and he had escaped the moment Naruto laid down for a nap; the dobe was having a harder time recovering all the energy he and Kurama had lost. He intended to find a quiet space for himself, but the moment he had sensed Sakura's chakra signature his feet moved towards her location. When he realized what his traitorous feet were doing, he reasoned he wanted to see what she was doing so far away from her medic post. There was no justification for staying this long, though. 

"Fine, you don't have to answer me, but I want you to think about why you've refused to train her," Kakashi dropped from the trees and landed a couple paces away from him, "You owe her that much at least, Sasuke."

Sasuke snorted derisively and refused to face Kakashi as he left. He owed the leaf nothing. If anything, they owed _him_ for the murder and manipulation of his brother and decimation of his clan. Satisfied with the familiar sense of loathing, Sasuke lost himself in thoughts of hatred and justice.

Eventually, Sakura dragged herself from the pit she'd created, and his sharingan picked up the details of her blood-shot eyes and fresh tear-tracks. _She's been crying,_ he realized, causing his stomach to churn uncomfortably. Instead of feeling annoyed and justified by her emotional display of weakness, Sasuke found a large portion of him was distressed by the idea of Sakura crying without anyone to comfort her.

Was that all she was to him? A leaf-nin?

Although he would desperately love to say yes, recent events proved that he would never be able to break his bonds with Sakura and Naruto. He had declared a damn revolution, and after beating the ridiculous thought from his mind-perhaps a revolution directly after a war wouldn't work quite according to plan-Team 7 had still stuck by his side and promised to create a world he would be proud to live in.

Was that something acquaintances did for each other? Comrades? Teammates? Even just friends? Even Sasuke knew the answer was no.

Troubled by his tumultuous thoughts, Sasuke fled the forest, leaving Sakura far behind him.

* * *

 **I'm a terrible person who can't adhere to time schedules. We went to sushi early was the actual problem, and then we all watched Mad Max (for like the 11th time and _still_ I got distracted).**

 **I'm in the middle of replying to last week's reviews (I GOT REVIEWS I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!), and enjoy this (longer) chapter!**

...

 **2lazy2login (Sept 11): Thanks so much! It makes me so happy last chapter was able to hook you-even if you don't know why. :] I'm even happier you calmed down enough to review afterwards! It really made my day :)**

 **...**

 ***edited: 2018/01/21**


	3. Chapter 3

**Words:** 4,862

 **Warning(s):** Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

* * *

"Conscious" probably wasn't the correct term to apply to Sakura at this moment in time. Determined to make progress with the chidori, she had trained until the sun went down without pause. By now, Sakura had been on her feet for a grand total of 32 hours straight, and her body was beginning to feel the effects.

 _At least I made some progress!_ Sakura thought, using a hand to cover her wide yawn.

Eight hours in the forest had not gone unrewarded. By the time she walked out, Sakura was consistently forcing her chakra to flicker about her hand in the desired shape. What she lacked was the chakra nature to then force it into electricity.

Despite the bone-tired weariness that coursed through her body, Sakura felt slightly optimistic. In her hospital shift before her training, she hadn't lost any patients, and then she'd made actual leeway in her quest for the perfect chidori defibrillator.

 _A chidorilator_ , she mused tiredly, a giggle bubbling up her throat. Two nurses paused in their rounds to look at her skeptically, and she hurriedly staunched her laughter and ducked into a walkway between tents to avoid more judgmental stares. Once out of sight, she patted her cheeks firmly three times and shook her head to wake up before dispensing a soldier pill from its canister at her side **.** The pill fell just short of her mouth, however, when a frowning Sakura pulled it back.

 _Maybe I need to take a quick nap,_ Sakura reflected while rolling the soldier pill through her fingers contemplatively; she now doubted her decision to come straight to the hospital after training. It was hypocritical, warning shinobi against over-using the chakra stimulants while she downed them like water. A rueful smile graced her lips.

"Only for emergencies, right?" Sakura asked the air, repeating the words she delivered to every shinobi before they left on extended missions.

The tiny granules of chemical compounds composing her moral dilemma shifted in their red sugar coating. Yes, Sakura knew what was in the pills and how it worked; even better, Sakura knew what the pills did to a person in the long run: degradation of chakra pathways, decrease in chakra control, and organ failure were only a few of the effects.

So why was she even thinking about taking another one?

If she was honest, Sakura could admit that she was running herself into the ground. Sleep deprivation had its nasty share of side effects, and caffeine could only act as a supplement for so long. Combine that with her recent pill popping party, and even non-medics could spot her particular recipe for disaster.

Sighing, Sakura lifted her gaze from the pill to gaze upon the sea of tents surrounding her. She knew it was bad for her health to continue on as she was, truly, it was just...she didn't _care_.

How could she justify taking a break as hundreds of shinobi lay fighting for their lives? Was her sleep really worth the futures of the comrades she could be saving?

"Sakura-chan? Is that you over there?" a familiar voice called.

Without hesitating a second longer, Sakura raised the pill to her mouth and swallowed it dry.

"Coming, Shizune," she responded, rounding the corner to where the voice was coming from. Sure enough, out on the main pathway stood one of her oldest comrades, Tonton firmly in arms. As Tsunade's apprentices, they had been through a fair amount together-namely wrestling the sake away from their infamous mentor.

With Tsunade out of commision, she and Shizune had divided the duty of keeping the medical forces in check. Both looked a little worse for the wear, and Sakura saw the dark circles under her eyes reflected in Shizune's face.

"Sakura, we need to do something about…" her voice trailed off and all of the sudden her spine straightened. Shizune closed the remaining the distance between them in short steps and proceeded to ignore all rules of personal space as she critically examined Sakura's face. Her lips pursed in displeasure, "Sakura, you look like shit."

"You're not looking too hot yourself, Shizune," she shot back with little venom in her voice; she had too little energy to fight right now.

Shizune's posture slumped and her eyes softened. "I know. It's just, jeez, Konoha's always been understaffed with medics, and it turns out we're the most equipped nation!"

Tsunade's most infamous fight with the elders had been her quest to train more medics for Konoha. She had been determined that every squad have a medic-nin, but the elders and more blue-blooded members of the council disagreed. During the chaos that was the Second Shinobi World War, the Sandaime Hokage had maintained that Konoha had neither the time nor the resources to devote their time to such folly. When Dan was killed soon after, Tsunade had fled the village in turmoil, and even though the war ended, nothing was done to train more medic-nins.

Since the begin of Tsunade's reign of hokage four years ago, the nation had made leaps and bounds of progress in terms of their medical-nin training, but they still fell very short of their goal. Right now, Konoha had about one fully trained medic-nin to every nine regular shinobi-far from the preferred 1:3 ratio.

It was discouraging to know that the other nations were even further behind.

"I know," Sakura acknowledged with a world-weary sigh, "Hopefully this number of casualties will at least be good for opening the other nations' eyes to the need for more medics."

At the mention of their growing casualty list, Shizune closed her eyes and moved one arm from Tonton to run her hand through her messy hair. Sakura could relate. The sheer volume of ailing patients had her at her wits end, and now they had this heart attack issue to deal with.

"Maybe," Shizune trailed off, stroking Tonton disheartenedly. It was hard to stay optimistic in the face of these odds, and the image of all the nations suddenly training medics was just so fucking perfect that both she and Shizune had accepted its unlikelihood.

"Anyway!" Shizune interrupted the pessimistic atmosphere that had descended with her loud outburst, "Let's go grab some tea and try to wake up a little. We both could use it."

"Caffeine would be good," Sakura admitted, fighting off both a yawn and a grin.

"Perfect!" Shizune declared, grabbing Sakura's arm and forcefully steering her towards their much needed caffeine, "I know exactly where to get some!"

Sakura smiled, content to be under Shizune's command. While it was true that Sakura had passed Shizune in skill level, the older woman's longer tutelage under Tsunade had granted her the experience she needed to face disasters without losing her head. Instead of making Sakura feel inferior, she had an older sister-mentality that put the younger woman at ease. Somehow, Shizune had taken away the sting she usually felt in relying on someone.

"Excuse me, coming through," a medic commanded, parting the people crowding the pathway.

Shizune and Sakura looked up from their conversation and took in their frantic surroundings. Two more medics followed the first, such a hurried pace could only mean there was another heart attack. Charcoal eyes met viridian: _So much for tea._

"No, no guys, I got it!" Megumi called, stopping Tsunade's two apprentices in their tracks, "Seriously, take five on this."

The sand medic-nin rushed after the growing procession of medics, but no more followed after silver haired woman. What the other nations lacked in quantity could sometimes be made up for by the quality of their healers. Megumi was one of these. The emphatic sand-nin had proved her expertise and level-headedness on the field, binding edo-tensei puppets and wounds with equal levels of efficiency. Her reliability only improved as she aided the heart attack patients with the same cool head she utilized in the midst of battle.

"Works for me," Shizune shrugged, holding open the flap-door of the tent next to them.

Sakura hesitated, looking after the disappearing crowd of medics. Even though she knew logically it was taken care of, she itched to go help. Inactivity didn't sit well with her, not when there were comrades to be healed. Not when it meant others were working and she wasn't pulling her weight.

"Sakura," Shizune's voice came again. The older woman still held the door ajar, and she shook her head almost imperceptibly, as if she could see straight into Sakura's mind, "Come inside, just for ten minutes."

"Okay," she relented, only lingering a second longer, fists curled in repressed emotion She offered Shizune a placating smile as she passed her, but Shizune's eyebrows only narrowed further at the sight of it. She knew Sakura's fake smile when she saw it.

"After all, three's a crowd, right?" the pinkette's voice echoed from deeper within the tent.

Three was a crowd? Shizune paused in closing the tent flap behind her, head tilted slightly. There had definitely been more than three medics. Shizune was about to point this out to Sakura when she spotted the younger woman's posture. She sat despondently at one of the make-shift tables, her hands clasped loosely in front of her and eyes faraway.

Sakura wasn't talking about the medics.

Lips forming a tight line, Shizune shook her head slowly before moving to make tea. Sakura didn't look up from the spot on the table she was boring a hole in, lost in unpleasant memories. It wasn't until Shizune physically offered her a cup of steaming tea that Sakura's daze was broken.

A distracted smile appeared on her face as she reached out for the cup, "Thanks Shizune, I really needed-Ow!" Sakura yanked back the hand that had been shocked when their hands brushed accidentally. The back of her hand still prickled, and Sakura examined it curiously, the gears in her mind working furiously.

 _Static electricity, huh?_

"Oh, shoot, sorry Sakura," Shizune gushed. When Sakura ignored her and continued to stare dazedly at her hand, Shizune's expression became worried, "Sakura, you alright?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," the green-eyed kunoichi assured her, finally clasping her hand back around the mug. The tingling sensation had faded, but her train of thought had not. _If I use this correctly, I may have found the solution to my chidori problem..._

The smile the young woman wore was infectious, and Shizune found herself grinning as well.

-x-

No. No no no. This could not be happening. This was not how her day was supposed to end. Not when she had just figured it out-not when she was hours away from being able to save more lives.

A thick iron tang permeated the air. It was so unlike the hospital at home. If there was the smell of blood there, it had never been this poignant; at home it was the smell of antiseptics and cleaning supplies that reigned. This clogging scent of blood, this belonged on the battlefield. Not in a place of healing.

But it was a battlefield now.

Sakura ignored the dripping liquid on her cheek, desperately pumping chakra into the chunin's system. When she had been ushered to her last case for her shift, she had not expected this. She had gone in to check on the fluid filling the young mist-nin's lungs. The boy had been subject to some of the reanimated Chiyo's poison, and although he had escaped the worst of it, the pustules in his lungs continued to hamper his breathing with the viscous fluid.

Although his case had been serious, Sakura wasn't worried when she stepped inside his tent that night. The boy had been making a full recovery, and had even regained consciousness a few times as Sakura treated him. What had caused him to relapse so quickly?

The first thing she had noticed was his chest. Maneuvering her way through the occupied cots, she almost didn't see the way his chest shook as he struggled for air. Almost. She increased her pace. The moment she reached his side the boy erupted into a hacking cough the consumed his whole body, limbs twitching with the severity of his cough.

It was the thick yellow mucus that spilled from his mouth that prompted her to call for help.

Now they were here. The room was a flurry of activity beside her as medics ushered an empty basin towards her and full ones away from her. Others utilized water jutsus to cool the boy's raging fever. Still more secured the thrashing boy's limbs with their bodies when cloth ties weren't enough.

On this battleground, they each fought for this young man's life.

The mist nin succumbed to his hacking cough once more, blood mixing with the pus. No matter how much colored discharge she removed, which amounted to several bowls worth at this point, more managed to take its place in the boy's lungs.

"I need the herbal antidote with yarrow!" she shouted, sifting all the liquid out of the mist-nin's body with her chakra. Instead of sliding easily out, the congealed mess's adhesive properties made it extremely difficult to sift out-costing valuable time.

 _I have got to loosen this up!_ Sakura thought, teeth bared with the effort of clearing the mist-nin's lungs. Without turning from the task at hand, Sakura called out more orders, "Better add some plantain and chickweed to that antidote, the mucous is thickening fast!"

Despite the tube down his throat, the chunin seemed to have an even harder time breathing than normal, and his lips were turning a sickly shade of blue. _What the, that tube should be doing most of the breathing for him, why does he still look so deoxygenated?_

More mucous trickled from the edges of his mouth, and Sakura's eyes widened in horror before she lunged forward and latched onto the end of the tube. Pulling a couple inches of the piping from the boy's throat revealed Sakura's worst nightmare: the mucous had clogged the tube.

"Shit!" Sakura cursed, removing the tube as quickly and gently as possible. With the ordeal the young boy had been through, there was a high chance yanking the hose from his trachea would tear through the traumatized cell tissue. The tube's progress halted every couple of centimeters, and Sakura was fairly certain the mucous had begun to cement around it as well as inside of it.

"Ha-haruno-san! His lungs are ceasing to function," an unidentifiable medic called. He had taken Sakura's place in sifting the discharge from the boy's lungs as Sakura tackled the blockage in his throat.

The legendary medic's mind whirred before spotting some unused syringes. If she was right, the poison ward had some large gage needles-aha! "You there! give me that 34 gage syringe needle!"

To the medic's credit, she didn't panic or waste time, she seized the desired object and had it in Sakura's seconds after her request was finished. Still inching the tube from the mist-nins throat with one hand, she slammed the needle into his left lung with her other hand. The lack of the patient's reaction only served to increase her worry.

"Someone with wind nature, I need a gentle, steady flow of air in that needle, STAT. If we have more than one person who can use wind, let's get another needle. It's okay if he's a pin-cushion if he lives. Move!"

As it turned out, there were three wind users. Two of the Sand medic-nin's focused on channeling air into each lung while the third cleaned out the clogged needles and dispensed them as needed.

Sweat accumulated on Sakura's brow as she remained devoted to her task, even channeling chakra through the mucous to try and loosen it. Although the tent was full of medics, they worked in near silence.

"Haruno-san, I can't get air through to his lungs any longer, but this needle isn't clogged," the woman working on his right lung finally spoke, her voice grim.

"Dammit, it's his lungs!" the sand-nin assigned to the left lung cursed, "They've completely solidified."

"His heart is palpitating!" another cautioned. A pause, "No, it's-it's stopped completely, now."

"No!" Sakura removed the last length of piping from the chunin's throat with a final flick of her wrist, "Where's that antidote?"

"Here!" answered a medic-nin just entering the tent, his arms full of the needed vials. The green liquid sloshed in its clear container as the person holding it darted to Sakura's side.

Sakura seized the vial and uncorked it with her mouth, spitting out the stopper as she poured the liquid down the still boy's mouth. Not sanitary, not professional, but quick. When the vial was emptied, Sakura channeled the liquid through the mist-nin's abused throat and then forced it into his cemented lungs.

"I need someone on that heart! Don't let it sit there!" she roared, willing the sticky substance to liquify in the antidote's presence. So far the sludge refused to budge, and the antidote remained lodged at the opening of the bronchi.

"Ha-hai, Haruno-san," a medic stuttered, placing her gloved palm on the boy's chest and beginning the necessary chakra infusions.

Finally, the caked mucous began to give, and Sakura swirled the antidote through his lungs as quickly as possible, "How's his heart?"

"Still no reaction, Haruno-san."

"Damn, come on!" she cursed. She couldn't waste any more time, they needed to get his lungs and his heart working within the next thirty seconds.

"Everyone not in immediate contact with the patient, step back, I'm going to try and force this stuff out permanently," Sakura declared, moving into a position that gave her more leverage over his torso, "Okay, one, two, _three._ " She pressed down hard, compressing his lungs to remove the lethal discharge.

A yellow-green liquid spilled from the previous incisions she and other medics had made in his torso and even from the puncture holes the syringe had left. More still bubbled up his worn trachea, spilling out his parted lips. The mucous brought with it a thick stench of decay, and several of the medics erupted into dry-heaves.

"Another vial," Sakura demanded, wrinkling her nose at the smell but not moving an inch away. Once again Sakura uncorked the vial and forced it into the patient's lungs. The path met much less resistance this time, and on her second compression, the expelled pus was much less viscous.

"Heart status," she asked, extending her palm outward for more antidotes. It was filled immediately.

"Still nothing."

"Okay, one more try! You've got this kid, let's go!" while her next compression expelled more pus, his chest did not begin to rise and fall on its own. A gentle hand clasped Sakura's shoulder.

"He's gone, Haruno-san. We're not doing him anymore good."

Sakura jerked her head up defiantly, the first rule of being a medic-nin sounding in her mind: No medic ninja shall ever stop medical treatment until the lives of their party members have come to an end. When the stilling grasp on her shoulder still did not move, Sakura deflated slightly, the spark of determination leaving her eyes. Her patient was gone, and she knew it.

She removed her hands from the chunin's chest, slowly, and let them fall limply to her side. Her eyes fell shut as she took a deep breath before she raised her head and addressed her team.

"Good work tonight everyone, I'm proud to have you all on my staff." The gazes that met her were dull, numb with their failure, and Sakura felt her throat tighten in response, "Sometimes, however, it's just not enough. And we have to pick up the pieces and move on." Her voice wavered minisculely, and she swallowed thickly while dropping her gaze momentarily.

Her patient's glazed cinnamon eyes met her, and she paused to close his eyes with her fingers. Another medic pulled the sheet over his face.

"Everyone is to use the decontamination shower in this tent before leaving, and I want several samples of this-this pus ready to study. Dismissed."

Medics milled around her in their clean-up routine. Cloths, syringes, and every medical device used was thrown into the biohazard bin. The plastic sheets that had been thrown up as dividers between the rest of the patients and the currently deceased patient were removed. Scrubs were shrugged off. Masks and gloves soon followed.

Sakura was the first to step into the decontamination shower. The water that fell over her head was frigid, but Sakura's body didn't feel the cold. She scrubbed her clothes and hands and face until the water that dripped from her body ran clear. Once done, she stepped out from the shower and walked mechanically towards the door.

 _I failed, again._ The thought ricocheted around her head until it was the only the she was aware of, the only thought she possessed. If she had trained harder, that young man would still have his whole life ahead of him. Brokenly, she sunk to her knees just outside the tent, only vaguely aware of the medics that exited soon after with a cloth covered body balanced on a stretcher.

She didn't even know his name.

That's when the tears started. It had been a long time since she'd cried for a patient, but she couldn't seem to stop now. They just came and came, flooding down her face without end. As she curled her hands protectively around her knees, Sakura mused that she wasn't even sure what she was crying for. Were the tears meant for the unnamed boy and his unlived years? Or were they hers, a result of her frustration with still being useless?

As selfish as it was, she was pretty sure it was the latter, and that caused the sobs to come faster. Self-loathing mixed with frustration and regret on her face. After all this time, was she still stuck here? Unable to make an impact, to saves lives? Still hiding in the shadows of her senseis and teammates?

-x-

Watching Sakura grieving, Sasuke felt more conflicted than he had in a long while. There was something so raw, so personal, about this moment that it felt wrong to intrude. Really, he should just retreat and pretend he saw nothing; he wasn't sure how he got here, anyway. He'd meant to go straight back to his sleeping quarters, which were on the opposite side of camp, after a long day of aimlessly wandering.

But how could he pretend when his heart was clenching like this?

Deep within himself, or perhaps not even so deep, Sasuke balked at the idea of seeing Sakura in pain-physical or emotional. It had always been that way: from their first genin mission to their last meeting as teammates, even as he knocked her unconscious. Sakura got to him, in a way he wanted to forget and never admit, but she did. No matter how much he itched to deny it, the way his feet refused to leave Sakura's crumpled form proved it.

Which was definitely part of the reason Sasuke had denied her request in the first place.

He exhaled softly, trying not to aggravate his sore rib cage that had been smarting since he and Sakura had last been in close proximity with one another. Only just resisting the urge to run his hand through his hair, Sasuke debated his next move now that retreating wasn't an option.

If they had been twelve, it would have been so easy to cheer her up. A word from him and Sakura would forget that she had ever been sad. A word from him directed at her and Sakura would be delighted, optimistic, naive again.

But they weren't twelve.

Now, at 17, Sakura and Sasuke had seen their fair share of destruction-had caused their fair share. Naive and Sasuke were never words meant to combine, even in his youth, and that was no different now. While it would be naive to pretend that he wasn't accustomed to the smell of burnt flesh as he used amaterasu to purge the world of betraying lives, it would be just as stupid to pretend that Sakura hadn't ended lives with her mountain-shattering punches.

Just as naive as it was to pretend that Sakura was still in love with him.

 _Her attitude towards me now alone proves that_ , Sasuke thought, darkly remembering the way that Sakura had fractured his ribs, how she had hatefully launched a physical attack against him. So was he really the best person to comfort her?

Why was he even considering this? As consumed as darkness as he was, he should not have any room left for sentimental emotions-should not have left any fragments of the bonds that once bound him to Konoha in his heart.

But somehow he did.

"Sakura," he called, not knowing when his feet had taken him the few steps forward from his hiding place in the darkness or what had possessed him to speak.

The kunoichi in question jumped at the sound of his voice and looked at him wearily. Her face was a mess of tears and exhaustion, and for the second time today, Sasuke felt no desire to mock her emotional outburst, wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and make that forlorn expression go away. His fists clenched at the revelation.

"What do you want, Sasuke? I'm busy," she snapped, angrily brushing away her tear-tracks.

"Stop blaming yourself. You're stupid if you think his death was your fault."

So it was less than romantic and a far cry from comforting, but it was the truth. Sakura was no more at fault for the casualties of war than he was for the massacre of his clan. Sometimes, atrocious events occurred, and that was all there was to it. Sometimes there was a person that could be held responsible, that could be punished, but, as Sasuke was coming to realize, more often than not that was not the case. All of the Leaf, all of this generation of ninjas, could not possibly be held responsible for the betrayal of his clan.

No matter how much he wanted them to be.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'm stupid. I was his medic, Sasuke," she disagreed, getting to her feet and brushing the dirt from her clothes, "And unlike someone I know, I own up to my actions."

Sasuke's lip immediately rose in a sneer for the insult to his character, but his insult to Sakura's past weaknesses died on his lips as he fully took in her appearance. Dark purple circles drooped from her eyes well into her cheeks, and her usually bright viridian eyes had dulled to a pale fern color. Her hair and clothes were soaked, and he didn't think she noticed the slight shivers that wracked her body. The damp clothes clung to her small frame, but they hung loosely, as if there wasn't as much of Sakura as there used to be.

She looked like shit: exhausted, stressed, depressed, shit.

And despite how much he wanted to poke at her willingness to throw her life away for strangers, for recent enemies, he couldn't. The words never made it close to his lips. How could he demean such selflessness when he himself was so very, very selfish?

When that same selflessness had saved him once?

"You're exhausting yourself, Sakura. Go get some rest," his voice contained a protective edge that it hadn't for a long while, and Sakura caught it, her posture straightening and eyes widening in response. Sasuke's mouth narrowed in displeasure; he hadn't meant to give that much away. Then again, this was Sakura. She always had been able to read him better than anyone else-save maybe Naruto.

Eventually Sakura shook her head and turned from their intense stare, heading in a direction he _knew_ was opposite of her tent. "I'll tell you what I told Kakashi-sensei," Sakura tossed over her shoulder, not bothering to look at him as she walked away, "I don't have time for rest. Goodnight Sasuke."

He growled. She always had been stubborn.

"If you change and rest, I'll train you," he offered her retreating back. It was his last move before he resorted to physically knocking her out and tying her in her bed. He would, if she continued to refuse him, but it would probably be best to refrain from physical violence as long as possible with their fragile relationship in the balance.

Sakura's retreating form paused, and she slowly spun to meet his gaze once again, eyes searching. Finally sensing his sincerity, Sakura crossed her arms, "You'll really train me if I go change?"

"And rest."

"And rest," she echoed, contemplating. Sasuke waited soundlessly for her response. Having reached her decision, Sakura' eyes lost their glazed look and she met his gaze determinedly, "Fine, I'll see you in the forest in two hours."

Meeting her determined gaze, Sasuke felt a shiver run through his spine. He wondered if she felt the same thing, if the prospect of being alone with him sent her body into overdrive.

Aiming for a nonchalant expression despite his haywire emotions, Sasuke nodded.

"Two hours.

* * *

 **Hey! On time and with a large update, too! It's like Christmas! Or a miracle of some kind.**

 **Tomorrow I head off to surprise my boyfriend with a weekend getaway for his birthday, so that's why you're getting this today, and not tomorrow. Hope everyone likes it!**

 **...**

 **Karikiro (Sept 18): Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it!**

 **2lazy2login (Sep 19): Isn't that the worst about "in-progress" fics? I have to admit, I usually browse completed ones because I can't handle the large waits. So glad you like it enough to stick around!**

 **S (Sept 19): Hey, thanks! I always think Sasuke is pretty hard to write. Am I keeping him in character enough while still toying with his emotions like a puppet master?**

 **...**

 ***edited: 2018/01/21**


	4. Chapter 4

**Words:** 2,909

 **Warning(s):** Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

* * *

For some reason, Sakura missing their meeting was something Sasuke never accounted for.

Three hours had passed since Sasuke had witnessed Sakura sobbing her heart out outside the medical tent. Makeshift dummies fashioned out of broken tree limbs were now scattered around Sakura's chosen training field. Since scorch marks and gaping holes in the earth were already a consistent theme of the décor, he couldn't imagine anyone complaining about a couple suddenly scraggly looking trees.

Complaining about an absent sparring partner, though, that was a completely different story.

Grinding his teeth, Sasuke pushed off the tree he had been leaning against. He was angry—livid, actually. Despite the fact that Sakura was only meeting him to train, Sasuke couldn't help but feel that he had been stood up. This, in turn, only made him angrier. Why should he care Sakura was a no-show? It was her loss, not his.

It was just because he put so much time into preparing for their session, he told himself. Sasuke had spent an hour thinking about the best way to teach the chidori to her. Half the techniques Kakashi had used with him wouldn't work with Sakura, simply because she didn't have the sharingan. Visualization had always been a key part in understanding a jutsu for him, though, so he thought if she could give Sakura a target for her chidori, it would be easier. Thus, the crude tree-mannequins.

Which, apparently, had been a total waste of time. Sasuke felt like an idiot. He'd dedicated far too much time preparing for this session, and he had been waiting for an hour after the agreed time to boot. Enough was enough, he was going home.

Rage fueled his steps as he stalked away from the training ground. Raccoons stumbling back to bed in the early hours scampered out of his way just as the waking birds flitted out of his reach. Animals seemed to have honed their survival instinct to a level even shinobi couldn't hope to reach, and, to them, Sasuke screamed "danger."

Why would Sakura use him like this? She'd lied to him once with a poisonous kunai clenched in her fists, and Sasuke had lost it. This time felt eerily similar. He felt the way his control was frayed within a centimeter of snapping. Did she _want_ to hurt him?

While he was used to seeing only the darkness in people, expecting and anticipating their eventual betrayal, something about his thoughts felt wrong. Wrong enough to stop him in tracks. Wrong enough to make him think.

As terse as their relationship was, would Sakura really go through all of this to hurt him? Sakura, the woman who had cried not even a week ago as she administered emergency care to the wounds he and Naruto had inflicted upon each other? Sakura, the woman who fought with her life to save people she'd never met?

No.

 _There has to be a piece missing_ , Sasuke decided as he strode out of the shelter of the forest near his and Naruto's. Perhaps another patient had gone into a critical state. It would be just like Sakura forget she was supposed to be resting when someone was in danger.

Suppressing a sigh, Sasuke spread his chakra out over the Alliance's makeshift camp. Several nin close by jumped in response, but, upon realizing his chakra was searching and not violent, settled for sending him dirty glares. They immediately dropped their gazes the moment he looked their way, though.

It didn't take long for Sasuke to find the familiar glow of Sakura's chakra, as he expected. Even with the years they'd spent separated, Team 7 could identify each other blindfolded while wearing sound canceling earplugs.

Sasuke's head swiveled to his right, where, about thirty paces away, Sakura's chakra was barely perceptible—even to him. Panic gripped his heart in its icy claws, his vision suddenly narrowing to nothing but the tent in front of him, and Sasuke charged forward without a second thought.

There was a very good chance that Sakura's body had finally given up. She hadn't rested for the better part of two days, and she had been pushing herself to her limits the entire time. Sasuke had seen chakra depletion cases before; he'd even endured it a time or two himself. It was often coupled with intense tremors, dehydration, and a deep ache that refused to leave for days.

But the worst part, the scariest part, was the fact that limbs would simply refuse to function anymore. A shinobi dying of thirst would be unable to grasp the water right next to him, or even be completely unable to speak. _Organs_ started to fail in the worst of cases.

And the last time he'd checked, Sakura was shaping up to be the worst case of chakra depletion ever.

Praying he wasn't about to find her comatose body lying on the floor, Sasuke threw open the flap of Sakura's tent.

Pink hair sprawled across the scratchy, flat pillow the Alliance provided. Sakura's calves dangled over the edge of the bed, as if she hadn't had enough energy to fully climb into it, and she hadn't even attempted to pull up the covers around her. The standard, long-sleeve shirt all shinobi wore had been discarded on the floor, but her matching black pants dangled off one of her legs. A small puddle of water exuded from where her pants touched the floor. Clearly Sakura hadn't even possessed the energy to get all the way out of the clothes he'd last seen her in.

More concerning though was that she was still-startlingly still. Dread filled his limbs like lead, halting his movements forward. The small rise and fall of her chest Sasuke's sharingan detected did nothing to dispel his anxiety. The low chakra levels he had detected earlier already told him she was _alive_. But was she..."here"?

Stealing himself, Sasuke reached out to shake her awake. Either she woke up, or the two best medics in the Nation were out of commission.

And he had failed to protect someone precious to him again.

His fingers were surprising steady as they wrapped around Sakura's bare-ice-cold-shoulder.

"Mmmph. Hmmmm," Sakura grumbled sleepily, slapping his hand away before nuzzling her head further into her pillow's scratchy fabric. Her left hand twitched out from beneath her pillow and searched briefly for something before falling still once more.

Sakura was exhausted, and probably shouldn't be moving anytime soon, but she wasn't comatose. Just sleeping. A breath Sasuke didn't know he had been holding escaped his lungs in a painful _whoosh_ , and suddenly the world expanded and snapped back into focus.

 _This damn girl_. Sasuke raggedly drug his hand through his hair as his heart rate slowed to something resembling normal. _This annoying girl_. He collapsed heavily into one of the spare chairs next to Sakura's bed, rubbing his temples slowly.

Seven chairs in total formed a semi-circle around Sakura's bed which seemed to serve as a desk since the tent had little space for anything else. A couple papers stuck out from under Sakura's torso and thighs—probably remnants from a late night meeting—and Sasuke had to wonder when it last was that Sakura had actually gotten any sleep. If her bed had become her makeshift desk, did she sleep sitting up?—or did she have a cot somewhere amongst the other medical staff?

Had she even slept since the war had ended? Sasuke could feel another headache coming on, along with the stiffness in his neck that always accompanied too much stress, and he massaged his head more thoroughly. Knowing Sakura, she probably hadn't.

A shuffling noise interrupted Sasuke's train of thought, and Sasuke looked up to see that Sakura was once again looking for something in her sleep. Her hand patted the area closest to her knee gently, making vague scratching motions as if to pull something toward her. Having no luck, the kunoichi whimpered, and pulled herself into a half fetal position on her bed. Papers crinkled as she moved—Sasuke hoped none of them were too important—and in the end her feet still hung off the side of the bed.

It was quiet for a moment after Sakura settled down, but then Sakura's feet were rubbing together in circles, catching on the half-dry pants still on one leg, and she tried to snuggled deeper into the hard bed.

 _She's cold_ , he realized. As soon as he figured out what was making her so restless, Sasuke's feet were moving, and he was at the edge of her bedside before his brain could catch up to his actions. He was halfway into gently rolling her off the papers and her blanket when his mind screamed for him to stop.

What the hell was he doing? Sasuke dropped the edge of the blanket as if burned and retreated a couple paces from the bed. First, he spent hours preparing a chidori lesson—a technique he already knew and had nothing to gain from—for Sakura. Not to mention the fact that he had been decently miffed when Sakura didn't show up. Then, he went and got in a blind panic because Sakura _might_ be in danger. Fine, the chances had been rather high, actually, but the fear that had gripped him was far outside the range of acceptable. Now, he was _covering Sakura with a blanket_? Because she had looked cold?

How much softer could he get? This was the girl who'd turned her back on him and tried to kill him.

But when Sasuke reached inside himself for that familiar ball of rage and hurt, the one he used to stave off feelings of loneliness and homesickness and other weak emotions, he couldn't find it. There were scraps of it left: cuttings of a much larger yarn ball that imparted a slight distrust of Konoha or justified anger. Still, it was nothing like the white-hot rage of betrayal he was so accustomed to carrying with him—accustomed to drawing on.

There, as he watched Sakura shiver on the bed, desperately searching for something that was no longer present, Sasuke finally gave up.

He was confused, definitely. Part of his identity, the only part of his identity he consciously acknowledged, had just disappeared. For all that he was fully clothed, Sasuke wanted to wrap himself in more clothing—more layers. He felt horribly exposed and uncomfortable in his own skin, but for once Sasuke didn't try to shift his uncomfortable emotions into anger.

No doubt it was the woman before him who was to blame for this sudden shift of personality. The woman before him, the dobe, and even his old sensei had all played a major part in tearing down the comfortable walls of hatred he had shielded himself in. Yet, instead of making them into his new tormentors, shifting the blame from Konoha's shoulders to theirs, Sasuke felt only a dull sort of resignation.

Sasuke had spent the majority of his life running and shrouding himself in malice, but Sakura and Naruto had spent the majority of theirs chasing after him in an effort to bear his burden—to share their light. And while he might have had a head start, he always knew that, eventually, his old friends would catch up to him.

Sighing, Sasuke removed the damn pants from Sakura's ankle-forcing himself to think about Sakura's health and not what he was doing-and draped it over one of the chairs to dry completely. Once they were gone, he shifted Sakura as gently as she could off of her papers and into the center of the bed. He stacked the pamphlets, maps, and diagrams on one of the chairs. Then, he wrapped each edge of the blanket around her pale form like a spring roll. Everything below Sakura's chin was smothered in a blanket, and a faint smile hovered on her lips.

Perhaps it was still the relief talking, or maybe it was just buried aspects of his personality suddenly come into the light, but Sasuke couldn't help but think she was cute like that: encased in a blanket with a tranquil expression on her face. She hadn't looked this at peace around him since they were genin.

Softly stroking an errant hair out of her face, Sasuke silently vowed to do better by her. For as long as she allowed him by her side, and probably even if she didn't, Sasuke refused to let her carry such a heavy burden alone.

-x-

"Let me get this straight, Uchiha." Shizune held Tonton protectively against her chest as she stared him down. "You want me to gather all of our best medics, so that you can donate your chakra?"

Hearing the Konoha medic say it made it sound even crazier than it seemed when he first thought of it, but Sasuke didn't waver. Images of an exhausted Sakura combined with his promise repeated in his mind, and Sasuke was determined that this would be his first step to making things right.

"Aa."

The older woman watched him warily, silently listing out the benefits and disadvantages of this arrangement. Sasuke knew she didn't trust him. He knew the only reason she was even still talking to him was because she was desperate. But, if the way Shizune's brows furrowed was any indication, her mistrust of him was currently outweighing the necessity of his help.

"I'm not gathering our best healers in one place so you can wipe us out in one blow," she finally declared, subtly shifting her hold on her pig so she would have a better shot with the poisoned senbon he knew were concealed beneath her sleeve. "I'm not that big of an idiot."

"Then take me to them one by one, or under guard, or even in chains. Hell, bring the dobe along if you have to," Sasuke crossed his arms and squared his shoulders, "Or combine all four. I don't care what you have to do to feel safe, just do it."

This took the medic by surprise, enough to shift her attack stance back into more relaxed, defensive position—at least, as relaxed as any defense stance could be. Desperation had coated his voice, and he knew Shizune had heard it. He absolutely _loathed_ the fact that she heard it because that made his feelings more real, and he wanted not to care so, so badly. Caring hurt, opened up new possibilities of loss, and it scared him that Naruto and Sakura had already pulled him this far back in—into their lives, their country, their hearts—in such a short amount of time.

It would be so much easier to be aloof, to pretend he was offering his help out of boredom, or of mutual goals, but his cool façade just wouldn't stay in place. For better or for worse, Sasuke was a different person now. A better person, hopefully, and he would see this plan through even if he had to do it in chains.

"And I'm supposed to believe you're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart?" Shizune's expression was more probing than distrustful, but her lip still curled in distaste. "Despite Sakura's undying devotion to your redemption, I'm just not seeing it."

 _Undying? Present tense?_ Even if he had a hard time believing that Sakura held anything for him than a grudging tolerance, his palms suddenly felt sweaty and his throat went dry. He couldn't think about that now, though. Clearing his throat discretely, Sasuke pushed that the revelation to the side to be dealt with another time.

"Not out of the kindness of my heart," Sasuke clarified,"For now, let's call it equivalent exchange."

The confusion cleared from Shizune's expression, as if Sasuke had finally done something that she could understand. As if the only side of him that made sense was the side the one that bargained only for his own personal gain with little regard for others. It was everything he had wanted to be only moments ago, everything he _was_ only days ago, so Sasuke tried not to think about how—or _why_ —that hurt.

"So, what do you want then, Uchiha? Amnesty for your crimes?" she snorted, and Tonton joined in. "That's far above my position, and I wouldn't even grant it if I could."

"Just let Sakura sleep." Shizune froze and then blinked rapidly, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, but Sasuke didn't give her time to interrupt him. He couldn't risk losing his nerve. "I'll give my chakra to any medic who needs it as long as no one wakes Sakura before she's ready."

The air between the shinobi shifted significantly. For once, the gaze upon him wasn't laced with distrust and badly concealed hate. Neither Naruto nor Sakura was standing before him, but all Sasuke felt was interest—a desire to understand. Something in his demand had changed the way Shizune viewed him, it was clear in the way she cocked her head as if dissecting his very essence with her probing brown eyes.

Then it was gone, hidden behind a professional expression, and the elder Konoha medic nodded decisively.

"I can guarantee her twelve hours."

Sasuke hesitated, wanting to let her wake up naturally, but then silently relented. If the medics ran themselves too ragged for her, or if another patient died, Sakura would only blame herself.

"Deal."

* * *

 **Yikes, sorry I'm a day late. Guess it balances out having the chapter early last week?**

 **But for real, the weekend getaway went** ** _great_** **-except for the whole "my laptop screen doesn't turn on anymore" issue. So I spent the school week sharing with Eric, and today I purchased a chromebook! It's working out. I think. Keyboard's a little weird, though, I keep hitting the "=" instead of "backspace"**

 **...**

 **2lazy2login (Sept 25): Glad you're still liking the story! It's fun, but difficult to write about them.**

 **...**

 ***edited: 2018/01/21**


	5. Chapter 5

**Words:** 5,450

 **Warning(s):** Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

* * *

For the first time in a very long while, Sakura felt warm and comfortable.

The soles of her feet weren't throbbing, she wasn't entertaining a pulsing headache, and her muscles weren't spasming randomly. Instead the constant adrenaline and caffeine induced buzz that spanned her whole body, Sakura felt blissful nothingness. The exhausted fog that had hung over her thoughts and actions like a wet blanket had been removed. While her thoughts weren't sharp or clear yet, it seemed more like her head had been enveloped in a plush comforter—or cotton balls—and they were slowly being pulled away.

Like she was waking up.

The thought removed the rest of the cotton balls clouding her mind in a hurry, and Sakura was struck with the sudden realization that she was _indeed_ waking up. Her eyelids still felt heavy and stuck together, but the surge of panic that blasted through her system helped her to open her eyes all the way.

Where was she? How long had she been out? Was she supposed to be operating? Who was on shift? What time was it? When was her next scheduled operation? Was it now? Why hadn't anyone come and gotten her yet?

Sakura's heart felt like it was racing a million miles an hour, and the area in her immediate vision was hazy and out of focus. Every cell in her body was screaming _move!_ but without a clear sense of direction or threat. Her pupils were dilated to near the point of enveloping the viridian hue that surrounded them, and every hair on dusting her skin raised.

 _Breathe_. The deep gulp of air Sakura forced into her lungs helped drive down the blind panic that had engulfed her. She blinked a couple times and pushed herself to actually take in her surroundings.

A half circle of wooden chairs. Familiar sketches of the surrounding area and medical tents. Her standard black pants and long-sleeved shirt on the floor. Crème canvas walls that fluttered in the slight breeze.

She was in her tent.

Now secure in her surroundings, the adrenaline and fear emptied her system in a rush, leaving her to sag bonelessly against her brick of a bed. Sakura might have just woken up, but there was no way she was going to trick herself into thinking she was rested. Yawning heavily, Sakura determined that if she was needed, someone would have summoned her by now. Although it bothered her that she didn't remember falling asleep, she didn't seem to be in any danger. So, she snuggled closer into her threadbare pillow and tried to fall back asleep.

But couldn't.

Sakura was safe in her own tent, swathed in the perfect amount of blankets, and she was still tired enough that she didn't even mind the scratchy material of her pillow. Still, there was this insistent nagging in the back of her mind that pushed for her to leave her comfortable cocoon. Scowling, Sakura rubbed her face into her bed like she was trying to remove the annoying—and very demanding—impulse to get out of bed.

Why would she leave her bed when she had absolutely nowhere to b—

With a painful thud, Sakura's heart thudded to a stop in her chest and she flew up from her pillow with an angry, meaningless shriek. The blanket she'd been so comfortable in before was nothing but a hindrance now, and she struggled to move her limbs as fast as she could.

 _How the fuck could I forget?!_ Sakura punched her arm through her shirt with nearly enough force to tear through the fabric. Her pants got the same rough treatment (she did _not_ remember hanging them there), and she was still struggling with a sandal as she pushed through the fabric door to her tent.

Sasuke was going to kill her!

-x-

About halfway to the training grounds in the forest, Sakura realized that Sasuke's chakra signature was absent. Not that, the more she thought about it, they had ever agreed on meeting in the small patch of trees that she had been punching holes in for the last couple of days. In fact, she had no idea where Sasuke was, or if he would even agree to talk to her again. The boy might seem as cold as the Kumo air, but she happened to know his pride had always been a rather sensitive spot of his.

And she had just stomped all over it by not showing up to train.

"Damnit!" Sakura growled, clenching her hands around the sweaty locks of her hair. It would take forever to talk Sasuke down frown whatever tizzy he had worked himself up into. She had finally gotten Sasuke to agree to teach her, and she had _fucked it up_!

A jagged rock on the path in front of her became the focus of her fury, and Sakura launched it through a successive line of trees after a sharp kick. Cracking sounds ricocheted through the forest for several seconds, causing the squawks of frightened birds and fleeing animals, before silence final fell once more.

When it did, Sakura sighed, squared her shoulders, and marched to the training grounds. There was nothing more to be done. All she could do was try to figure the damn technique out on her own. Maybe later she would have time to talk Sasuke around and soothe his ruffled feathers.

The clearing Sakura walked into was not the clearing she had left behind, though. Shattered trees and cracked earth proved this was where Sakura had been training in the last couple of days—she even recognized the large crater where she had broken down earlier—but the dummies that had been set up were not her doing.

Her first thought was Kakashi. It made the most sense that he would try to help her. But as she admired the care that had been taken in weaving each dummy together, she realized there was no way Kakashi had put in this much time to _prepare_ for a training session. Even Naruto, as much as she loved him, was more of the show-up-and-wing-it type.

No, there was only one person who could have set this up. Her throat felt tight as her fingers traveled wonderingly over the carefully woven targets. All this time Sakura had been so convinced Sasuke didn't care. It hurt—she wished desperately it wasn't true—but perhaps she'd been pounding on the solid walls around Sasuke's heart for too long without taking a step back. Perhaps, while she was busy pounding on her patch of Sasuke's barrier, the rest of his defenses had been slowly crumbling away.

Withdrawing her hand from the carefully assembled target, Sakura clenched it into a fist as her resolve hardened. She had to find Sasuke.

-x-

Despite the fact that she wasn't a sensor, Sakura didn't anticipate any problems in finding Sasuke. Of course, like most things, this meant the task became unusually difficult. She frowned as she trudged through the underbrush, scanning the chakra signatures in camp once more. Just as she was about to make a third pass, she felt it.

 _Is that really Sasuke?_

Just the touch of his chakra sent her heartbeat racing in her chest. This time, though, it wasn't accompanied by the sickening cocktail of anxiety and desperation that never failed to turn her stomach. It was as if she was looking into an earlier version of Sasuke. The maelstrom of hate she usually felt haunting his chakra was gone. Sasuke was—peaceful. Tired, definitely, his chakra reserves were at about half the behemoth amount they usually rested at, but he was calmer than Sakura had ever felt. _Including_ the year she had known him as a genin.

 _Why is he in the central medic hub?_ Sakura's brow furrowed as she broke through the edge of the forest into the clearing. "Medic hub" was a grandiose term for what was basically a slightly larger tent with a plethora of chairs and coffee. Still, when medics were on a break they never failed to meet there to exchange tips, confer on a patient, or simply share a cup of liquid energy. While others weren't technically barred from entering, they never did. Ever.

So, why was Sasuke there? Even if he had been looking for her—a thought Sakura couldn't dismiss as quickly as she might have in the past—it wouldn't have taken him long to determine that she wasn't there. Why had he lingered there for—Sakura glanced at the sun in the sky—six hours? Seven? In the back of her mind, she contemplated how serious her chakra exhaustion must be to sleep for more than eight hours and _still_ feel this exhausted. Her brief second of concern was dismissed in favor of finding out what the last Uchiha was doing in her medic hub.

Ninjas and medics alike offered Sakura small smiles and weary waves as she traversed the camp. It felt like she was always a second too late in responding, but if anyone was offended they certainly didn't say anything. Perhaps she was always this distracted; it certainly sounded like her.

For no reason at all, her palms began to sweat as she neared the tent. Sakura had faced Sasuke when he was mad with revenge, unfeeling and cold, murderous in the name of justice, and broken in pain. Now that he was the most sane and whole she'd ever encountered him, she hesitated.

To be rebuked by this Sasuke would cut deeper than any previous rejection ever had. Should he turn her away now, Sakura couldn't brush it off as Sasuke being too wrapped up in revenge and darkness.

Standing in front of the tent flap, Sakura took a deep breath and pushed it aside. If Sasuke was going to reject her, he was going to reject her. Right now, she needed to focus on getting the ninjas lying in the tents home safely.

Sasuke didn't see her when she entered the tent, but he was the first thing she saw. A line of medics waited in front of his seated form. The majority of them chatted easily, holding coffee in their hands as they waited. A few glanced warily in his direction, of course, but none left their places.

Most remarkable of all were the ninjas who sat before him, backs turned with ease to his lethal hands. These were her colleagues, and in some cases, her friends. To see Sasuke so accepted into their midst was nothing more than breathtaking, and Sakura had to swallow back tears of happiness to avoid making a scene.

She hadn't the slightest clue what brought this on, but she thanked every entity that could have made it possible fervently.

When the medic-nin in front of him began to stir, the tranquil meditation of their chakra exchange was broken, and Sasuke immediately became more aware of his surroundings. Sakura could see the way his chest rose and fell more quickly—more shallow in contrast to deep meditation breaths—and his eyes darted under his lids.

"You still have another four hours to sleep," he said, opening his eyes to bore into hers. Sakura's heart stuttered at the same time that her lungs failed to draw breath. The maelstrom of darkness that had swirled in Sasuke's obsidian orbs for three years had settled. It hadn't dissipated entirely, but instead hung heavily around his eyes in a way that made him look haunted. Vulnerable. Repentant.

Then the corner of Sasuke's lip twitched, just the barest hint of a smile, and Sakura's composure was gone. Regardless of the fact that the was surrounded by her fellow medics-people who looked up to her-Sakura's eyes began to water. This was the boy who had bolstered Sakura's confidence before the chunin exams. This was the teammate who had held her hand so desperately in the Forest of Death. This was the Sasuke she had fallen in love with. Finally, _finally_ , he had come home.

The medic in front of Sasuke shifted, most likely uncomfortable with being right in the middle of their quasi-reunion. A simple movement, but it was enough to shatter the fragile spell that had captivated them both. Sasuke glanced away, and suddenly Sakura could breathe again. With the influx of oxygen the world around her stabilized. Though there was still a faint ringing underscoring her thoughts, her brain scrambled to play catch up with what Sasuke had just said.

"You-you exchanged access to your chakra for my right to sleep?" Acts of kindness, especially ones this large, meant something from Sasuke. He had used violence to try and break his bonds, spat hateful words to push his friends away from a weak heart. But he had never, never used generosity as a ploy. Never had he used a saccharine smile to achieve a twisted goal.

"Hn," Sasuke confirmed, avoiding her gaze. Instead, he turned to the next medic in line and gestured her forward. It was Yuri, a young amethyst-haired medic from Konoha. He held his hand out, leaving it suspended in midair, and closed his eyes once more, "Go."

Incredulously, Sakura shuffled back a few steps; the dismissal made her uncomfortable, but mostly because she wasn't sure what to do with it. Yuri looked at her once apologetically, bangs mostly covering her eyes, and ducked her head before situating herself so that Sasuke's open hand rested on her shoulder. From across the room, Shizune caught her eye and jerked her head towards the opening in the tent before exiting. Flicking her eyes over Sasuke and Yuri's still forms once more, Sakura pushed the harsh canvas aside and slipped out of the tent.

The flap had barely closed behind her before she rounded on the elder medic.

"Wha-what? Did Sasuke really make a deal so _I could sleep_?" Sakura whispered harshly, resisting the urge to shake Shizune until so got some answers. Everything was speeding up and slowing down at rates she couldn't handle, "Were you in on this? What is going on here?!"

"He demanded, Sakura. Demanded," Shizune stated. She didn't give up an inch of ground, but she didn't step forward into Sakura's space either, "Sakura, he was frantic. I knew you were doing badly, but to be doing badly enough that _Uchiha Sasuke_ comes up and demands that I let you sleep. _Demands_ that I let him exchange his chakra so you can have time to rest. _What_ is going on with _you_?"

"I-he was frantic?" Nothing was making sense. Frantic was not a attribute Sakura would chose to apply to Sasuke. "I just haven't slept a while, and Sasuke-Sasuke made me rest before he would teach me how to use the chidori. And I slept through it-our meeting that is."

It was Shizune's turn to be as flabbergasted as Sakura felt.

"The chidori? Sakura, why on earth do you need the-oh."

"Oh," Sakura agreed, her hand fluttered nervously from her heart to her head and back. She felt unsteady and ill. It's not that she wasn't pleased with _her_ Sasuke's apparent return. But when Sasuke had stared down Naruto with murder in his eyes? The hope Sakura had kept alive that their Sasuke would return home had been all but snuffed out.

And, now, just like that, he was back?

"...handling it?"

The high-pitched ringing in her ears-or was it a buzzing in her brain?-died down enough for Sakura to catch the tail end of Shizune's question.

How was she handling it? How was she handling Sasuke's abrupt personality change? His sudden presence in her life again?

When Sakura was still a genin, after both Naruto and Sasuke had left Konoha's walls, she and Ino had rekindled their friendship. The blonde had insisted the two do something together every week, and more often than not they ending up pressing flowers. Sakura wasn't sure _why_ that's always what they ended up doing, but at least one afternoon of every week-or dusk if training had been particularly hellish-the girls would venture out into Konoha's forests and fields to capture the most beautiful blooms they could find.

They would return home with their prizes and press them between the pages of particularly large books. It was for this reason that the girls generally ended up at Sakura's house-she had the most extensive collection of dense medical books available for use. With the heavy weight pressing on them, and the absence of both water and light, the flowers would shrink and condense into smaller versions of themselves. At this point, they could be placed in a scrapbook or picture frame to be treasured forever.

Of course, Sakura hadn't always been patient. There was one time that Sakura had been attempting to preserve one of the largest, brightest sunflowers she had ever seen. It had reminded her of Naruto, all sunny smiles and bright clothes, and she was determined to have it hanging in her room next to her Team 7 photo. Unfortunately, its size meant it it took longer than the usual week to press. By the end of the eighth day, Sakura was staring sullenly at the empty place on the wall where she had planned for the flower to go. Impatient, Sakura decided to go ahead and frame the the flower anyway. Everything was going fine until she was trying to clasp the back of the picture frame closed. The damn thing would just not close no matter how much she wiggled and tugged at it. It was as she was leaning down on the back of the frame that she heard the tell-tale _crack_ of the glass shattering.

Right now, Sakura very much felt like _she_ was the glass panes of the picture frame, being pushed to the edge of fracturing by the overbearing sunflower. Sasuke's resurgence into her life was too much-too soon-and she was having a hard time containing all the emotions that were now spilling over.

Overwhelmed, and still the slightest bit shaky, Sakura sunk to her knees before shifting to sit on the dirt.

"I-I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I'm happy. Really, deliriously happy. Or-or at least I think I am." Sakura cradled her head in her hands. "A week ago I would have been skipping, I think. It's just, after-after everything that's happened? After everything that _is_ happening? It's not that I gave up hope on him"-although it was a close thing- "I-I just…"

What had she done? Shut down, really. Walled up her emotions behind a thick brick wall so she could continue to function. Now that Sakura thought about it, it sounded eerily familiar: she'd pulled a Sasuke.

Sakura repeated this thought out loud, and it drew a chuckle from Shizune. With an exasperated shake of her head, she sunk to the ground next to her. Tonton escaped the woman's grasp the moment she was settled and chose to jump into Sakura's lap and gave a consoling _oink_. As much time as Sakura spent with the little pig, she could count on one hand the number of times Tonton had elected to cuddle with her. Still, Sakura wasn't about to look a gift-horse-or pig, as it were-in the mouth. She pulled Tonton closer and up into her chest, ignoring the way her eyes were suddenly watering.

 _I will not cry over Sasuke again. I will not cry over Sasuke again._ She repeated it like a mantra in her head until she felt in control of her emotions again.

"That was never going to work for you in the long run," Shizune said eventually. At Sakura's questioning glance, she elaborated, "Pulling a Sasuke. You have too many emotions to keep all locked up. You'd drive yourself into the ground before you successfully smothered them."

Personally, Sakura thought Sasuke had faced a similar problem once. He had to have a lot of emotions to want to lock them away, after all. And there were those moments-those moments that made her heart melt and burst and stutter-where he let his walls down just enough to offer a peek at who he used to be: a kind, loving boy.

"From what I've seen-and from what Sasuke has apparently noticed-you were well on your way to a severe case of chakra depletion, though." Guiltily, Sakura thought of the half-empty container of soldier pills in her pocket this very moment. Thankfully Shizune carried on, "But as overwhelming as this seems right now, I know you'll push through it. I've never seen you back down from a challenge yet. Remember your first surgery?"

Sakura did-perhaps not for the reason Shizune did, though. News of Sasuke had reached the village. Barely two months after his defection, Sasuke had been spotted in a town just south of Otto. He'd held the owner of a small plant nursery at swordpoint and demanded some the region's most rare resources.

It was the first time Sakura saw, without a shadow of a doubt, the path that Sasuke was headed down. However, stuck in Konoha with only mediocre skills at her disposal, Sakura was helpless to stop it. She felt sick and anxious the whole day, and had a hard time focusing on anything else-including her lessons. Probably sensing her student's distraction, Tsunade informed her that she would be performing her first surgery the next day. A chunin had managed to tear most of the ligaments and muscles in his right arm. Not usually surgery worthy, but enough muscles had been damaged that the repair would proceed more smoothly if the medics could see that everything was reattached where it was supposed to go.

As far a surgeries went, it wasn't that serious. The chance of the patient dying, or even losing the use of his arm, was extremely low. Still, though, it had forced her to spend the whole night poring over her books and preparing. Not that she didn't think of Sasuke. But every time Sakura felt her mind start to wander, she reminded herself that it was not Sasuke that would be under her chakra scalpel tomorrow. Sasuke wasn't in any immediate danger, but her patient was-and it was selfish of her to not devote her full attention to her patient.

So, after being apprenticed for a mere two months and preparing for a day, Sakura scrubbed up for her first surgery. Which, she not only successfully completed, but also noticed the hairline fractures spanning his humerus that had not shown up on the initial scans. Again, not really dangerous. But if the patient were to have exerted too much force with his arm again, the bone could have shattered and maybe even ripped up his muscles all over again.

All in all it had been a success. A success that stemmed from putting her personal issues aside and focusing on the patient in front of her. Maybe, if the changes in Sasuke were permanent, they could work on their relationship later.

Shizune was right. She could do this.

"As for Sasuke," Shizune took a deep breath, as if what she was about to say physically pained her, "Well, you've-you've always loved him. Just let whatever feelings you have come. Don't try to hold them back, but don't force them either, kay?"

It was comforting to have the conclusion she'd come to only moments before mirrored back at her. As if she had been following the conversation, and agreed as well, Tonton butted her chest affectionately from her lap and oinked reassuringly.

"Now, as enlightening as that whole conversation was, what I asked was how you were handling the new technique."

A quiet moment as this processed.

 _Oh._

"Oh."

"Oh," Shizune agreed with a mischievous smile.

 _Well, fuck me entirely,_ Sakura thought, dragging her hand through her hair and chuckling weakly. Of course she had to take that question completely out of context. Of course she had to spill her guts, _again_ , for no reason at all. Why wouldn't she have? At least it was only Shizune, but Sakura still found herself feverently wishing for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Sakura was silent for a few minutes as she stared up at the sky. Shizune was patient, though, and merciful. She refrained from teasing her and allowed the younger medic to get her thoughts and blush under control.

"I have the shape right, but I can't get my chakra to make the last jump into the electric phase," she finally explained, thumping her knee aggravatedly with a closed fist. Tonton squeaked, startled by Sakura's sudden anger. She murmured her apologies and petted the pic's bristly back before continuing, "I have an idea, but I'm not sure it's exactly feasible. I'm hoping Sasuke will have some input."

"Okay," Shizune took a second to think through this. "But if you're having this much of a problem with the chakra control, will it be something everyone can do? As it is, there are only a couple of medics who have been taking the brunt of this whole disaster. If it's those same six people, this doesn't really solve much."

"It will it consumes less chakra, hopefully," Sakura told her. These were issues that had been plaguing her as well. She had been struggling with this for sixteen hours, and, modesty aside, she was the best of the best. Even if she did crack it, would others be able to jump in? "In theory lightning users should have an easier time with the technique."

"And we have five lightning users that currently don't have the chakra control to perform heart stimulation," Shizune finished. She closed her eyes and nodded. Sakura could practically see her doing the math behind her eyelids. "And with those users, everyone else might actually be able to take a second to breath before the actual defibrillators come in."

"How long until that again?"

Shizune sighed. "Six days."

Sakura echoed Shizune's sigh. Six days was a long time-especially for a patient in critical condition. About three shinobi were lost to heart attacks each day. So, if the medic task force was able to keep up their current pace-which was a _big_ if-they would still loose eighteen patients by the time supplies arrived. It didn't sound like much, especially not when stacked against the numbers of those they'd already lost. But eighteen ninjas was the Rookie 9 twice over. Two years of ninja for any given nation gone in less than a week.

And that was only accounting for the heart attack patients.

"Son of a _bitch_ ," Sakura swore softly. She rubbed circles into one throbbing temple with the hand not cradling Tonton. "We need more medics. Once we get out of here, I'm taking up Tsunade-sama's fight with the council. We need more medics. End of story."

"Having _rested_ medics wouldn't hurt either," Shizune commented dryly. When Sakura glanced at her senior out of the corner of her eyes, Shizune wasn't staring at her as she thought she would be. She didn't have to, though. The comment was pointed enough.

"I just finished sleeping for-er," Sakura glanced at the sun again for reference, "Well, I think it was eight hours. That's plenty rested!"

"And how long had you been on your feet before _that_ Sakura?" Shizune asked sharply. Now she _was_ staring at Sakura. Glaring, actually. "Because I doubt that the Uchiha would storm up to me and demand I let you sleep if you had just had a busy day."

Sakura winced and looked away. She hadn't laid down in over a day before Sasuke bribed her to do so. And there was only a shower and four hour nap separating that time from the last 36 hours she had spent running from tent to tent. If Sasuke hadn't forced her to sleep, there was a very good chance she would have collapsed. Sasuke or Naruto _might_ have been able to do it, but the fact of the matter was that Sakura simply didn't have the chakra reserves. Not naturally, anyway, and artificially generating chakra like she had been was probably going to come and bite her in the ass at some point. She knew that, she did, and yet…

"I had to do something," Sakura bit out. Her free hand clenched once more, but she resisted pounding it on her thigh this time. "I _have_ to do something." The older woman looked ready to protest, but Sakura pointed accusingly at her mentor and snapped, "No, listen to me!"

While Sakura was well known for her temper, it was rarely directed at her superiors. She saved such pleasantries for her peers. In all the years Shizune had known her, she wasn't certain that Sakura had _ever_ raised her voice at her. It was certainly enough to kill whatever protest she had been about to make on her lips. Sakura made sure to make use of her silence.

"Listen," she repeated, fiercely meeting Shizune's gaze, "I am the apprentice of Tsunade, one of the legendary Sannin and legendary medic. That just so happens to be what everyone needs right now, but, unfortunately, she's in a coma." Sakura paused to take a breath and fight off the tears that threatened at the thought of Tsunade-sama, still and nearly lifeless on her heavily guarded bed. Now was not the time. "So, the responsibility falls on me. No, listen, it does. Shizune, I will always value your help and advice. Know that. Please know that. But I was always meant to be her successor."

Sakura gently scooted Tonton off her lap. The pig oinked affectionately her once before scurrying over to her owner. With both her hands free, Sakura pushed off the ground to stand once more.

"So it's time for me step up," she said. Her lips quirked in a small smile as she offered a hand to help Shizune up, "Symbolically speaking, of course."

Shizune sighed and took her hand. Once she was on her feet as well, she reluctantly nodded her assent. "Fine. But is there any chance you'll go get more rest once you figure this out?"

Sasuke chose that moment to walk out of the tent. Sakura's traitorous eyes immediately followed the movement of his arm as he brushed the flap open. With his short sleeve on, the majority of his bicep was obscured from her vision. Still, the barest glance of the flexing muscles sent a thrum of excitement flooding through her.

 _Pathetic_ , she scolded herself. _You're around shirtless men, much buffer shirtless men, and a little peek at a bicep has you drooling?_ It was as if now that she knew that there was a chance again, all her senses were on high alert. When it came to him, at least.

"I thought I told you to go back to sleep," Sasuke said. He raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow-gah! Did he tweeze or were they naturally that perfect?-as if demanding an answer from an unruly child. When he didn't get the response he wanted, Sasuke crossed his arms disapprovingly and stepped right into her space, probably in an attempt to intimidate her. Sakura was not intimidated, however-more...overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with how close he was (if she raised up on her toes just the _tiniest_ bit she would be kissing him), overwhelmed by his scent. Every breath carried with it a musky scent that was all Sasuke. It was-nice. Some sort of pine mixed with-smoke? Maybe?

It was also making her a little light-headed, because that damned ringing had started in her head again. Sakura had to take a small step back and take a deep breath of clean air-not that he smelled _dirty_ -before the world came back into focus again.

"I told you before, Sasuke," she said, propping her hand on her hip imperiously. No, she was not flirting. She wasn't. "I don't have-"

"Time for rest," Sasuke finished for her. He still looked annoyed but also resigned. If he was a normal teenager, he would probably be rolling his eyes dramatically. As he was not, Sasuke just allowed one small huff of annoyance to escape. His voice tinged on exasperated as he asked, "I'm not going to be able to convince you to go back to sleep, am I?"

He was being gruff, but not cold or cruel. His words weren't honed with the intent to hurt this time. This time Sasuke _cared_. And she could see it. Clearly. Like, Byakugan-or-Sharingan clearly.

So, despite his obvious annoyance, Sakura smiled.

"Nope!"

* * *

 **All I can really say is that I'm sorry. It's been more than two years since I've updated this and...yikes. A lot has happened since then irl (I graduated, I have a real science job, I'm engaged). Every time I started to work on this though, I seemed to struggle for with how I wanted to this to end, and I finally decided against writing a sex scene at the end. Sorry for everyone who had been waiting ever so patiently for that. My other multi-chap, Poison Brings Out the Best in Me, has two scenes you might want to check out if that's why you're here.**

 **To everyone who is still following this, thank you. Really. I got your reviews, and each of them made me smile (even if I'm just responding to them now). I'm not going to promise that I'll update it again soon, but my New Years Resolution is to write and share at least one thing a month, so maybe the chances are better? Just know that I _promise_ I will not abandon this fic-even if it takes me ten years to complete it and no one is following it anymore.**

 **Anyway, I'm going back and fixing the errors of other chapters, so that's why you all probably got multiple alerts before this chapter was finally posted. As always, reviews give me life and motivation. If you're not too angry with me, maybe share your opinions on this chapter?**

 **...**

 **guest (2015. Oct. 3): Glad you found the story interesting! Hope you stumble upon the updated chapter someday.**

 **Guest (2015. Oct. 3): Sorry you think this story is so lame that you read all four chapters of it?**

 **2lazy2login (2015. Oct. 3): They shortened the backspace button and moved the "=" button right into the space I usually hit it at. Finally got used to it! Hope you come back to see the rest of the story someday!**

 **Guest (2015. Oct. 4): Always makes me happy to know someone likes my work. Thanks!**

 **Guest (2016. Dec. 28): This story is NOT discontinued! Hurrah! My updates are just really sporadic. Not Hurrah**

 **...**

 ***edited: 2018/01/21**


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